Dissident Motherhoods: Still Born by Guadalupe Nettel
The continuous progress of gender studies and feminist theory has prompted a revision of the roles traditionally associated with women, such as passivity, domestic responsibilities, labour and perhaps most notably, motherhood. As Simone de Beauvoir noted in 1946, womanhood is a product of cultural construction rather than an innate condition: while women are biologically equipped for childbirth, many aspects associated with motherhood are cultural and often mirror the prevailing systems, such as patriarchal structures, that persist in many societies. This issue is particularly pronounced in Mexico, where such structures remain largely unchallenged, contributing to the worrying levels of violence against women.
Guadalupe Nettel’s novel La hija única, published in 2020 and subsequently translated into English as Still Born in 2023, not only exposes these prevailing structures but also presents alternative paradigms of motherhood, where each character challenges conventional values and expectations. In the book, each female character embodies a unique experience of motherhood, which can be labeled as dissident due to their deviation from dominant traditional norms and perceptions of motherhood. Through close reading and feminist theoretical framing, we can observe in Nettel’s novel a radical intervention in the discourse of motherhood in Latin American literature, particularly by validating the legitimacy of maternal doubt, grief, and interdependence. These dissident narratives offer a vision of motherhood rooted in choice, agency, and community, presenting a hopeful counterpoint to dominant ideologies of maternal duty and isolation.
Set in contemporary Mexico City, Still Born follows the stories of two friends, Laura, the narrator, and Alina, both of whom share a rejection of socially imposed motherhood and a desire to remain childless. They meet in France while Laura is doing a PhD in Literature and Alina is working in art gallery. When Laura comes back to Mexico a year after Alina, she is surprised to find that her friend has changed her mind and is trying to have a baby with her partner, Aurelio. When moving into her new apartment, Laura meets her new neighbour, Doris, a widow, and her son Nicolás, with whom she will bond quickly. Soon enough Alina manages to get pregnant, but after the fourth month of pregnancy the doctors discover that her baby, who by then has been named Inés, has a rare congenital disease which means she will probably die soon after being born or, if she manages to live, she would be deprived of most motor functions and rational thought.
Guadalupe Nettel’s novel La hija única, published in 2020 and subsequently translated into English as Still Born in 2023, not only exposes these prevailing structures but also presents alternative paradigms of motherhood, where each character challenges conventional values and expectations. In the book, each female character embodies a unique experience of motherhood, which can be labeled as dissident due to their deviation from dominant traditional norms and perceptions of motherhood. Through close reading and feminist theoretical framing, we can observe in Nettel’s novel a radical intervention in the discourse of motherhood in Latin American literature, particularly by validating the legitimacy of maternal doubt, grief, and interdependence. These dissident narratives offer a vision of motherhood rooted in choice, agency, and community, presenting a hopeful counterpoint to dominant ideologies of maternal duty and isolation.
Set in contemporary Mexico City, Still Born follows the stories of two friends, Laura, the narrator, and Alina, both of whom share a rejection of socially imposed motherhood and a desire to remain childless. They meet in France while Laura is doing a PhD in Literature and Alina is working in art gallery. When Laura comes back to Mexico a year after Alina, she is surprised to find that her friend has changed her mind and is trying to have a baby with her partner, Aurelio. When moving into her new apartment, Laura meets her new neighbour, Doris, a widow, and her son Nicolás, with whom she will bond quickly. Soon enough Alina manages to get pregnant, but after the fourth month of pregnancy the doctors discover that her baby, who by then has been named Inés, has a rare congenital disease which means she will probably die soon after being born or, if she manages to live, she would be deprived of most motor functions and rational thought.
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Although Inés survives, her condition makes her life-span uncertain. At the same time, other female characters appear in both Alina and Laura’s lives, like Laura’s mother, Mónica and Lea, their friends, Doris, and the women from the feminist collective, The Beehive, who all adapt motherhood to their particular circumstances. As the narrative advances, each character questions their reasons to become or not a mother, and explores different alternatives to traditional motherhood, or as I will call them, dissident experiences of motherhood.
To approach these experiences, I will introduce two terms with which feminist theorist and essayist Adrienne Rich approached motherhood: “the potential relationship of any woman to her powers of reproduction and to children, and the institution—which aims at ensuring that that potential—and all women—shall remain under male control” (Rich 13). For Rich, motherhood can be an empowering and feminist experience if women remain in control and have agency in the process (potential), but if motherhood is imposed, then it is detrimental to women and bounds them to other gender-biased activities, such as caregiving and domestic labour. Min Jiao derives her own two terms from Rich’s dichotomy, “motherhood” and “mothering”, noting that
Rich’s distinction proves very useful to differentiate between motherhood and mothering, since the term “motherhood” refers to the oppressive patriarchal institution, which is male-defined and controlled, while the word “mothering” refers to female experiences of mothering, which are female-defined and centered, and potentially empowering women (Jiao 542). The differentiation, as Jiao notes, is constructed against, and thus interacting with, patriarchal ideals of motherhood which are prevalent in certain societies, and it “paves the way for feminist narratives to identify the oppressiveness as well as empowerment of maternity in both literature and theory” (Jiao 542). In Nettel’s novel, the outdated ideals of motherhood are present through the eyes of Laura, who rejects them, thus locating where the characters’ distinct and dissident ways of mothering come into play. How they potentially empower women shall be seen in every individual, taking into account that by empowerment I mean stepping outside a patriarchal ideal of motherhood which implies selflessness, neglect and negation of the mother’s own needs and desires outside of child-bearing.
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While Laura serves as the narrator, Alina's situation takes centre stage in the novel, providing a compelling portrayal of the conflicting facets of motherhood. At the beginning of the novel, it is Alina’s decision to reconsider motherhood—much to Laura's astonishment—that sets the narrative in motion. Alina is portrayed as an adventurous, independent and artsy woman in her thirties, wealthy enough to live in one of the nicest neighbourhoods of Mexico City and to afford fertility treatments. Her social status undoubtedly plays a part in her experience of motherhood as a choice, rather than a chore or a duty.
However, things change for Alina when she discovers her baby will likely die soon after birth, or else live with a disability for the rest of her life. Before Inés was born, Alina grappled with the heartache of knowing her daughter would die before they could spend any time together, but when she miraculously survives and Alina begins to seriously consider her disability, her grief turns into fear and anger at the thought of having to take care of her forever:
However, things change for Alina when she discovers her baby will likely die soon after birth, or else live with a disability for the rest of her life. Before Inés was born, Alina grappled with the heartache of knowing her daughter would die before they could spend any time together, but when she miraculously survives and Alina begins to seriously consider her disability, her grief turns into fear and anger at the thought of having to take care of her forever:
The worst thing for Alina was speculating about the future: imagining Inés’ death or visualising herself walking through the city around the crooked streets full of potholes, pushing a wheelchair containing a woman she would have to wash and feed until the end of her days (Nettel 123).
One pivotal scene involves a female doctor offering Alina the option to administer a life-ending dose to her newborn: “‘If you keep her, the consequences will be very difficult, I don’t imagine I have to explain that to you. In both cases, you will be the one who’s most affected. That’s why I want to give you the possibility” (Nettel 104), says the doctor. This proposition contrasts starkly with the male gynecologist’s disregard for Alina's input during her pregnancy and childbirth:
She would have liked to follow [Inés], but at that moment her body no longer belonged to her. Her body was this manipulated, stitched-up mass that could barely feel, from which something precious had been extracted. Now it was empty, it mattered as little as the dirty strips of fabric and bloody gauzes that had been left on the operating trolley, things that must be dealt with, cleaned, and tidied away, but which were not priorities (Nettel 90).
The thought of a mother taking their own child’s life remains one of the most taboo in Western culture, but rather than shocking her, being given the choice gives Alina some peace of mind. Laura, who is only an observer of Alina’s dilemma, also wonders about the topic, prompted by a nest that some pigeons built on her balcony. The pigeons, Laura notices, seem to be taking care of two eggs, one of which, she suspects, is not their own because is larger and of a different colour. When the smaller egg disappears, Laura remembers being a child and watching in horror as her dog ate two of her pups, wondering if that might be the case for the pigeons. The comparison draws a larger conjecture and begins a series of comparisons between the animal world and humans: “I do, though, wonder how many mothers might devour their sick children, just like that, if the law did not prohibit it” (Nettel 70).
In the case of Alina, who is given the choice to kill her own child without consequences, we can see the recurrent figure of the “murderous mother”, which Emily Jeremiah, in her essay “Murderous Mothers”, finds of relevance because it is “profoundly disquieting. If a culture rests upon the assumption of women’s innate passivity and selflessness, it must be unsettled by the assertion that this is not necessarily so (Jeremiah 59)”. However disturbing, the idea of the murderous mother seems to be the polar opposite of the equally alarming “selfless mother”, who would starve to feed her young or sacrifice her own agency and life to bring up her children. In Still Born, Alina does not use the medicine, but neither does she become a selfless mother: she decides to employ a nanny and go back to work. By not falling into any of those extremes, she reinforces her experience of motherhood as one of choice: a chosen experience of motherhood that enables her to balance her priorities.
Equally significant, the grief Alina feels when the doctors say the child will not live long is also treated from a critical perspective, where both Laura and other friends reassure Alina that the emotions that accompany her sadness (anger and frustration not only for her child but for herself) are valid. Alina’s anxiety seems to stem from a place of stigma that surrounds all the negative aspects of motherhood, including losing a child:
In the case of Alina, who is given the choice to kill her own child without consequences, we can see the recurrent figure of the “murderous mother”, which Emily Jeremiah, in her essay “Murderous Mothers”, finds of relevance because it is “profoundly disquieting. If a culture rests upon the assumption of women’s innate passivity and selflessness, it must be unsettled by the assertion that this is not necessarily so (Jeremiah 59)”. However disturbing, the idea of the murderous mother seems to be the polar opposite of the equally alarming “selfless mother”, who would starve to feed her young or sacrifice her own agency and life to bring up her children. In Still Born, Alina does not use the medicine, but neither does she become a selfless mother: she decides to employ a nanny and go back to work. By not falling into any of those extremes, she reinforces her experience of motherhood as one of choice: a chosen experience of motherhood that enables her to balance her priorities.
Equally significant, the grief Alina feels when the doctors say the child will not live long is also treated from a critical perspective, where both Laura and other friends reassure Alina that the emotions that accompany her sadness (anger and frustration not only for her child but for herself) are valid. Alina’s anxiety seems to stem from a place of stigma that surrounds all the negative aspects of motherhood, including losing a child:
There is a word to describe someone who loses their spouse, and a word for children who are left without parents. There is no word, however, for a parent who loses their child. Unlike previous centuries in which child mortality was very high it’s not normal for this to occur in our time. It is something so feared, so unacceptable, that we have chosen not to name it (Nettel 68).
Parental grief at the loss of a child (or, in this case, grief and uncertainty against a potential loss) and its strain on the relationship Alina and Aurelio have will also allow for questioning on the role of fatherhood, as I will elaborate later.
Another part of Still Born focuses on Laura’s life back in Mexico as she observes Alina's struggles with her newborn child, her own perspective on motherhood untouched but significantly influenced by her interactions with other characters. Among the first things Laura discloses about herself is the desire to not have children and how this decision affected her last relationship, which quickly deteriorated when Laura “got her tubes tied”. From Laura’s perspective, being a mother would mean losing one’s agency and independence (Nettel 26). Laura’s outlook on motherhood is somewhat explained by her relationship with her own mother, who had an unhappy marriage and gave up her personal aspirations and career to have children (Nettel 194). Although their relationship is not estranged, it is quite tense and complex:
Another part of Still Born focuses on Laura’s life back in Mexico as she observes Alina's struggles with her newborn child, her own perspective on motherhood untouched but significantly influenced by her interactions with other characters. Among the first things Laura discloses about herself is the desire to not have children and how this decision affected her last relationship, which quickly deteriorated when Laura “got her tubes tied”. From Laura’s perspective, being a mother would mean losing one’s agency and independence (Nettel 26). Laura’s outlook on motherhood is somewhat explained by her relationship with her own mother, who had an unhappy marriage and gave up her personal aspirations and career to have children (Nettel 194). Although their relationship is not estranged, it is quite tense and complex:
We daughters have a tendency to see in our mother’s mistakes the source of all our problems, and our mothers tend to consider our defects as proof of a possible failure [… but] I would be lying if I said I didn’t need her; when she is not around I feel like I’ve lost my grip on the world (Nettel 150).
Throughout the course of the narrative, Laura does not change her mind about childbirth, but her notions of motherhood are widely enhanced and challenged by her new neighbours, Doris and her son Nicolás. Doris used to be a folk singer and was married to an abusive and violent man who beat her and humiliated her in front of their son, who is now eight years old. After her husband died, Doris and her son moved to Mexico City, but they are finding it really hard to adapt to their new life with no support system or friends around. Doris embodies a lot of the afflictions common to Mexican mothers: untreated depression and anxiety, neglect, exhaustion, abuse and violence. Moreover, Nicolás replicates many abusive behaviours he observed in his father, and in addition to being neglected by his depressed mother, has anger management issues.
Laura first hears Nicolás’ fights with his mother through the walls and befriends him with the intention of helping them, as she can see Doris shows signs of depression and panic attacks. Eventually, Laura ends up developing a motherly affection for Nicolás, feeding him, walking him to school and taking him to the park. She also begins to care for his mother, who in addition to her problems, feels guilty for not fulfilling the selfless ideal of traditional motherhood: “All I feel is worn out by his rages and his constant rudeness. Sometimes I tell myself I’d be better off if I hadn’t had him. It’s awful, don’t you think? Normal mothers don’t think those kinds of things, do they?” (Nettel 134).
Convinced that normal mothers don’t exist, Laura starts drawing parallels between her own maternal feelings for Nicolás and the pigeons on her balcony: when the strange egg has hatched, Laura is convinced that the pigeons are rearing another species’ chick, and her observations reinforce the notion that there’s no such thing as normal or natural motherhood, not even in the animal world.
Other aspects of experiencing motherhood in contexts other than biological ones appear in the novel when Alina hires a nanny, Marlene, to go back to work. Marlene quickly becomes devoted to Inés, not only taking care of her but involving herself in her sessions of physiotherapy and motivating her to get better. Soon enough Alina and Aurelio, who are now both working, find themselves so dependent on Marlene’s presence that they take her with them on holiday. Nevertheless, Alina feels guilty for not doing all those things for her daughter, and finds herself becoming jealous of Marlene’s time with Inés and pondering about their relationship:
Laura first hears Nicolás’ fights with his mother through the walls and befriends him with the intention of helping them, as she can see Doris shows signs of depression and panic attacks. Eventually, Laura ends up developing a motherly affection for Nicolás, feeding him, walking him to school and taking him to the park. She also begins to care for his mother, who in addition to her problems, feels guilty for not fulfilling the selfless ideal of traditional motherhood: “All I feel is worn out by his rages and his constant rudeness. Sometimes I tell myself I’d be better off if I hadn’t had him. It’s awful, don’t you think? Normal mothers don’t think those kinds of things, do they?” (Nettel 134).
Convinced that normal mothers don’t exist, Laura starts drawing parallels between her own maternal feelings for Nicolás and the pigeons on her balcony: when the strange egg has hatched, Laura is convinced that the pigeons are rearing another species’ chick, and her observations reinforce the notion that there’s no such thing as normal or natural motherhood, not even in the animal world.
Other aspects of experiencing motherhood in contexts other than biological ones appear in the novel when Alina hires a nanny, Marlene, to go back to work. Marlene quickly becomes devoted to Inés, not only taking care of her but involving herself in her sessions of physiotherapy and motivating her to get better. Soon enough Alina and Aurelio, who are now both working, find themselves so dependent on Marlene’s presence that they take her with them on holiday. Nevertheless, Alina feels guilty for not doing all those things for her daughter, and finds herself becoming jealous of Marlene’s time with Inés and pondering about their relationship:
Alina stayed quiet as she thought of the substitution for motherhood her nanny had happened upon: being the pretend mother of one baby after another, loving them intensely as if they were her own, and then, when they grow up, going in search of another newborn (Nettel 179).
Her qualms, however, are eased by her biologist friend Mónica, who is also a single mother to a child with a similar congenital condition to Inés’:
We’ve always looked after other women’s children, and there are always other women who help us take care of our own. Naturally connections are going to be made between children and these substitute mothers […] but I don’t think that’s such a bad thing; or that the roles are reversed so exhausted mothers can get a bit of rest […] I just mean that motherhood has always been very porous’(Nettel 180).
Porous motherhood is indeed a very accurate term for the experiences of motherhood most of the female characters have. Apart from Marlene’s help, Alina and Aurelio also find support on a Facebook group they join, where parents from all over the world share their experiences of caring for children with genetic conditions. Sharing their experiences and getting tips from other parents eases their anxiety somewhat and gives them a sense of belonging to a larger community: “[They] would no longer be alone, like a unique species, confined to their apartment: there were more people like them out there, and they were in contact with them now” (Nettel 139).
Accordingly, rethinking motherhood along the lines of shared experiences and responsibilities must mean that not only women can be responsible for child-rearing: for motherhood to become unconstrained, it is also necessary to think about it in contrast with and in conjunction with fatherhood and of both within communities. As activist and theorist bell hooks noted in Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center,
Accordingly, rethinking motherhood along the lines of shared experiences and responsibilities must mean that not only women can be responsible for child-rearing: for motherhood to become unconstrained, it is also necessary to think about it in contrast with and in conjunction with fatherhood and of both within communities. As activist and theorist bell hooks noted in Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center,
Even the childless woman is considered more suited to raise children than the male parent because she is seen as an inherently caring nurturer. The biological experience of pregnancy and child birth, whether painful or joyful, should not be equated with the idea that women's parenting is necessarily superior to men’s (hooks 137).
In Nettel’s novel, the absence of fathers and father figures is evident, as is the abundance of single mothers: Laura never speaks of her father, who is divorced from her mother; Doris is a widow; Mónica is a single mother. When Alina learns of her baby’s condition she is asked by the doctor to prepare all funeral arrangements and is told, in front of her partner and father of the baby, Aurelio, that her family will be responsible for everything while she is in labour or if she died during the birth. It is noted then that the child would only become Aurelio’s responsibility, at least according to Mexican laws, once he recognised her as his and registered her, not before. Laura notes: “I said to myself that surnames and parental rights are courtesies we pay to men once they acknowledge their children, almost like a dowry. The truth is that in our society it is optional for children to be allotted fathers, whereas mothers have no choice in the matter” (Nettel 66).
Laura’s remark echoes bell hook’s thoughts on the matter:
Laura’s remark echoes bell hook’s thoughts on the matter:
Dictionary definitions of the word “ father” relate its meaning to accepting responsibility, with no mention of words like “tenderness” and “affection,” yet these words are used to define what the word “mother” means. By placing sole responsibility for nurturing— that is to say for satisfying the emotional and material needs of children— onto women, society reinforces the notion that to mother is more important than to father” (hooks 138).
However, the character of Aurelio also challenges traditional ideas of fatherhood by taking part in Inés’ care and handling and accepting Alina’s mixed feelings about their child and the changes to her body that the birth implied, which caused tension and resentment in their relationship:
Alina couldn’t stop staring at [the scar from the caesarean] whenever she looked at herself naked in front of a full-length mirror. Its dark brown color, but particularly the way in which the skin spilled out over the mark like a badly set crème caramel seemed monstrous to her […] Aurelio’s body, meanwhile, was still as perfect as ever (Nettel 172).
Sharing their parenthood with Marlene makes a big difference for Alina and Aurelio, to the point of saving their relationship. It also makes a difference for Doris to allow Laura into her and her son’s life, and for Laura’s mother to join a feminist collective and rethink her own motherhood. It is this feminist collective which Laura also joins, The Beehive, that offers a day-care where women from the community take care of the children of women who need to work. All of these co-parenting practices are important to experience motherhood in a way that is not restrictive:
Child care is a responsibility that can be shared with other child-rearers, with people who do not live with children. This form of parenting is revolutionary in this society because it takes place in opposition to the idea that parents, especially mothers, should be the only child-rearers (hooks 144).
This shared responsibility, or collective child-rearing, is also brought up to ease Alina’s fears of letting Marlene get emotionally involved with her child, as her friend Mónica suggests to her: “Imagine what it would be like if you and me, Aurelio, our children, and a few more friends shared a house and our day-to-day existence. We’d be far less exhausted, that’s for sure” (Nettel 180). It is also mentioned that
Alina had heard that in Denmark, the state provides collective residences to house anyone who needs it. In these co-operative social housing units live a mixture of single mothers, adults who have never had children, teenagers who have fallen out with their parents, and orphaned children. Everyone gets a room of their own and access to shared spaces. Eventually these people end up forming a clan that is just as united, or more so, than the families they have come from (Nettel 181).
Just as Alina is learning to delegate responsibilities, Laura is learning to be responsible for another woman’s child, and by the end of the narrative, both Inés and Nico end up surrounded by a group of people that co-parent them, an attitude that bell hooks had also described as essential to forming a society in which women are not forced into a restrictive motherhood:
Since women do most of the parenting in this society, and it does not appear that this situation will alter in the coming years, there has to be renewed feminist organizing around the issue of child care. The point is not to stigmatize single parents, but to emphasize the need for collective parenting (hooks 147).
In this way, the different experiences of motherhood that the female characters have in the novel, as well as their interaction with other female characters, resemble a collective parenting scheme, in which women (and increasingly men) support each other with the responsibilities of child-rearing. Although Nettel’s novel does not explore in depth the toll of economic hardship on motherhood (most of the characters are middle or upper class), the novel does portray motherhood in ways that challenge traditional patriarchal norms, emphasising the importance of shared experiences and critical examination of prevailing attitudes.
In conclusion, Still Born presents a multifaceted exploration of motherhood, deviating from traditional expectations and introducing alternative paradigms. Through the dissident experiences of characters like Alina, Laura, and Doris, the novel highlights the possibility of shared parenting responsibilities and challenges deeply ingrained gender norms. In doing so, it offers a refreshing perspective on motherhood in a society still struggling to overcome patriarchal structures.
In conclusion, Still Born presents a multifaceted exploration of motherhood, deviating from traditional expectations and introducing alternative paradigms. Through the dissident experiences of characters like Alina, Laura, and Doris, the novel highlights the possibility of shared parenting responsibilities and challenges deeply ingrained gender norms. In doing so, it offers a refreshing perspective on motherhood in a society still struggling to overcome patriarchal structures.
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